Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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