YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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