The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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