I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
