You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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