its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
