Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
