You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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