Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
