Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
