it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize