As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
