Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
