There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
