You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
