I'm really into asian looking animals
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
