we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
