She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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