Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
