you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
