i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
