So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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