Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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