I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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