Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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