I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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