I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize