Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
