Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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