Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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