and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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