Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
