I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
