Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
