New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
