We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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