If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
