If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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