Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
