Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think your dad took our porno
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
