heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
