walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.