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margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
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