I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
