Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.

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  (602): You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy. http://tfl.nu/r33s
  Replies (15) Good night (3200) Bad night (892)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"

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  (905): he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine" http://tfl.nu/dcrf
  Replies (23) Good night (1635) Bad night (4549)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.

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  (440): I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise. http://tfl.nu/okxz
  Replies (13) Good night (5583) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

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  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (12095) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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  (918): they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks http://tfl.nu/5j5t
  Replies (27) Good night (1372) Bad night (7271)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in

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  (315): I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in http://tfl.nu/b3qn
  Replies (15) Good night (7452) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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  (763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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  (440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34
  Replies (11) Good night (3295) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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  (843): i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex http://tfl.nu/fymj
  Replies (8) Good night (2085) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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  (773): Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you. http://tfl.nu/9snq
  Replies (11) Good night (743) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.

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  (304): I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here. http://tfl.nu/t14q
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.

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  (303): Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary. http://tfl.nu/16rt
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.

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  (818): I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/5z7i
  Replies (2) Good night (900) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.

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  (832): The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up. http://tfl.nu/pl1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1148) Bad night (337)

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