how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.