Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
