Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
