Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize