i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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