You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
