he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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