We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
