I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
