Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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