It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
