my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
