with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
