wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize