Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
