remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
