Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
