If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
