i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
