Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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