Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
