You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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