butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
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Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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