if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna have a badass scar
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
